altercation with thuggy kids

So i had an altercation this morning with some of America's finest youth. We all know I don't work in the best neighborhood. So, it's summer now, which means that many teenagers are not in school, which leaves them to hang out on the streets. For some reason the sidewalk outside my work building is a particularly enticing place in which to loiter. So I'm walking down the sidewalk and 4 thuggy teens are standing in a circle completely blocking the sidewalk. Since I didn't want to walk out into oncoming traffic, I politely said "excuse me" as I was walking up. But of course they did not move, so I squeezed myself around one of the girls, of course brushing against her as I passed. This is where I went wrong. As I'm walking away she goes "excuuuuuuse me!" Then she told me to "get my honky ass back here" which her friends thought was hilaaaaarious. Yes, very original. Btw, if I had something equally race-defining to her, that would be horribly offensive and they would have beat my ass. Smartly, I decided to keep walking and not even turn around as I heard her saying to her friends "I should go after her and smack her."
To borrow a phrase from a friend many years ago - all I was thinking was "Do it, chubby, and see how hard you hit the ground."

Reminds me of SuperTroopers in the opening scene when the police car pulls away and the kid goes "Man, i was about to bust my 9 in that cop's ass." then you just hear screeeeeeeeeeech and the cop car comes whizzing back in reverse. best opening scene to a movie ever, rivaled by the opening line "This is Bob. Bob has bitch tits."

Anyway, good times in NE DC this morning. I wonder if they've been waiting out there all day to "jump me" when I leave the office. They probably could, it's not like the have jobs.... maybe I better take the shuttle ;)

Pansy men in NoVa

Lately I've been noticing a rash of pansy men in NoVa. Grow some balls men!

a - Dudes who wear kneepads to play volleyball: We've been playing volleyball for the past few weeks. Males, unless you are a college/pro volleyball player, you probably shouldn't wear knee pads. We play in an adult coed "rec" league. It's just not a good look and the other team is probably making jokes about other reasons why you need those kneepads...

b - Guys on the metro who race for a seat: Men, on the metro, if you get on at the beginning of the line, like Vienna, and you take a seat, fine. No one expects you to give up the seat you're already sitting in. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the guys who wait by the door to get on the metro and as soon as the door opens, they shove past everybody and race to the open seats, knocking over women and children in the process. Think George Castanza on Seinfeld in the episode where the kitchen catches on fire at the kid's bday party. I'm not the kind of girl who needs guys to ride in on a white horse and valiantly hold the door and reserve seats, but is chivalry that dead? Also, those guys look like major wimps. Then they whip out their newspapers or emo literature right away so they won't have to meet eyes with anyone who they just knocked over for a seat.

I wrote a letter to the Express newspaper - a free DC newspaper put out by the Washington Post, which most metro riders read on a daily basis - in response to a letter a woman wrote in about metro chivalry. They actually published my letter - here it is. (Photo courtesy of David.) This of course prompted a rash of letters from angry males (aka aforementioned 'pansies') but all my friends loved it. I love the title they gave my letter also. Favorite show of all time. :)



c. I'm pretty sure I heard my male roommate blow drying his (very short) hair the other day. (He claimed later it was his gf, but none of us believe him.)

d. We drove through Georgetown last Sunday afternoon...and most of the men walking around were prettier than I am.

e. They play kickball, which would be a good enough reason to be on the list, but then some guys really pansy it up by suing other kickball leagues for stealing the kickball "rules."

f. Pink popped collars are abundant.

I could obviously go on for a while, but if you have any good ones, feel free to leave comments. :P